My Food Story Part 1: When Things Were Simple(r)

If you ever have been or currently are dissatisfied with your food relationship, I KNOW THE FEELING!

Food and I have a long history. There have been breakups and love affairs and everything in between.

Fortunately, our relationship is a lot less tumultuous now, even though it has been a journey to get here. In hopes of bringing more peace and joy to someone else's rocky road with food, I'm going to share all the ups and downs of my story. 

Sometimes I hesitate to share my story because it seems uninteresting or I feel guilty for the blessings I had when so many others didn't. 

But we can't control our stories. Regardless of the pain, the blessings, or the boring details, they are important to tell or revisit because they help us realize why we believe or do things today. They show us where we need healing or gratitude for the past and maybe where we need still need it in our present. 

So here I go! To explain my current tendencies, temptations, and beliefs, I'll go back to the beginning. After all, ever since birth (even in the womb) food is as woven into our lives as breathing. We all come out made to eat even if we end up developing different food relationships. Some preferences we're born with, and some are molded into us from family, culture, and even religion.

My story began in a childhood full of love and plenty of food...especially southern food.

My mom stayed home and my dad worked so we didn't eat at restaurants super frequently. We had many dinners of chicken casserole, tacos, and pasta. A classic pot roast with carrots and potatoes served with homemade sourdough bread couldn't smell more like home to me. Mom made food from scratch but also had plenty of store-bought cookies, chips, and snacks. Veggies were scattered in but not overly fancy. We had our fair share of green beans, corn, and potatoes. Same with fruit. We mostly had bananas, apples, and grapes... and nope, not organic. Especially in my small Alabama town, a gourmet "health food" grocery store was nowhere to be found. Even if my mom tried to serve new veggies or foods, I was quite picky and probably would have wanted chicken nuggets or pizza. We were allowed a reasonable amount of seconds, sweets, and soda, and definitely were familiar with white enriched flour.

If you're reading this, you might be thinking we didn't eat very healthy.  I have had those thoughts too. But lately, I've come to be very grateful for how my parents did things. (More on that to come!)

As for exercise, my dad sometimes went to the gym or Mom did Denise Austin on TV. Mostly though, Mom stayed active with us kiddos, going on walks, or tinkering in the garden beds. Dad did things like throw ball in the yard with my brother and me, yard work, and coaching my softball team. Physical activity didn't seem like too much of an obligation for them. 

I do need to give the disclaimer that no one in our house was ever severely overweight. I say this NOT AT ALL to brag but to acknowledge the genetic privilege we had to not make decisions pressured by diet culture. We didn't have anyone telling us to not eat cookies or recommending we work out 5x a week to lose weight. With external pressure, I can completely understand how guilt, shame, or fear could have made our food and exercise relationships much more tense!

My parents never really dieted, and only occasionally would I hear them talking about exercising to lose a few pounds. From my memory, they never restricted mine or my brother's calories based on either of our body sizes. (I'm sure they restricted our sugar in an effort to get us to bed earlier some nights!)

My family's financial status also influenced our food choices. We weren't well off but we weren't hurting. With only my dad working, Mom would cut coupons or cook from scratch more but I never wondered if I'd have something to eat at my next meal. Seconds were allowed because they could afford to be. My parents could spend money on fun extras like cookies and soda which meant those treats were around often, and I didn't really feel the need to binge on them. They could buy fresh fruits and vegetables which became comfortable staples in my diet that I still eat regularly today.

Am I saying that people without much money can't have good food experiences? Absolutely not! But I do recognize that financial security is an extreme blessing and privilege that greatly impacts food environments. Therefore it's worth the effort to view others through a graceful lens, considering their food history could have looked a lot different than mine.

For reasons out of my understanding or control, my early food history was secure. We certainly didn't get everything right but I'm so grateful, especially now, for the memories of love and joy that food brings to mind.

I think of the comfort that came with Mom's chocolate chip cookies.

I think of connection with family while eating my grandmother's dressing at Thanksgiving.

I think of friendships at the elementary cafeteria table with the cheesy orange goodness on our fingers from Doritos.

I think of celebration and laughter eating cake and ice cream at birthday parties.

I think of hard work and sweet summertime when remembering my Nana's homemade salsa. Then I'm reminded of sweaty hugs from my Grandaddy after he came in from picking the garden tomatoes.

Food is so much more than a resource keeping us alive! 

This is why it is such a gift and sometimes so complex.

The next part of my story is when beliefs about food and my body started getting tricky.